The Reality of 2
So, a lot has happened in the last month… I guess the biggest news is I welcomed another man into my life. Asher. This being said, it officially makes me a mom to two under two.
Asher was born on January 6th at 6:31 pm. It was probably the fastest day of my life, I had no idea what was going on let alone having another baby that day. When he was born you think that you are going to remember everything from the first one (since Mason was only 17 months at the time), but nope not even close. You may have a sense of confidence with certain things for sure, but you know what, you hold this little human and almost feel lost and scared again because you just want to give them the best life.
There are some things I would like to make women aware of that I noticed with my second pregnancy and since having Asher, so just know, if you feel like this you aren’t alone—-
- People don’t care like they did the first time. At first I got upset because I constantly felt like it was me and Luke dealing with this alone. I would cry thinking that no one cares about the new little guy because your new human may not be acknowledged the same as your first, but it is what it is and then you realize you are your own family.
- Start prepping frozen meals a couple months before, my friend Kat told me this and its so smart. Start making casseroles throw them in the freezer that way when baby comes you are relying on Pizza Hut to make life easier and blowing through cash like its your second job.
- Guilt— the minute I knew that Friday I was having Asher that day and our family was going to be a +1, I cried because every emotion hit me at once. That being said, I cried everyday multiple times a day for about a week. (another thing countless friends of mine also went through) What was I crying about? That fact that I felt maybe I didn’t appreciate those times with Mason as much as I should have, was it selfish not giving Mason more time alone with us? Was Mason going to feel less important and not the same amount of love as before. This feeling TORE me apart. Finally after about three weeks I don’t look at it that way… also me and Luke have made a point every week to do something alone with Mason so we still have those moments.
- Most importantly, the fear of not loving your new one as much as you love the baby you already have. The minute I saw Asher it was the same feeling of love over again. I didn’t think it was possible to be honest, because when I think about how much love I have for Mason my heart could explode. Well now I have realized it is possible and I have two boys and a husband that have showed me I don’t need anything else in life.
- The older one WILL ACT OUT…. Mason’s world has changed so drastically also, so just know parents, more meltdowns are coming full force your way. NORMAL.
….OH WAIT ONE MORE THING— thought I should get this out while I am at it. I have made the decision to NOT BREAST FEED this time around at all (first time was awful and traumatizing for me, and while I have the upmost respect for the women that do, I cannot). So let out all the gasps and people calling you selfish and know while I am still feeding my baby and bonding with my baby. I am also sitting here a happy person, smiling with a glass of wine, laughing at the women that waste their time judging one another.
FEEDBACK FROM EXTRA SPARKLES PLEASE
Honestly, moms out there leave your comments below and whether its your first or second or third pregnancy. There is so much we should be able to tell one another, if we did it might help us get through something that the other is going through.